Wet

RATING: ***

Forget the burlesque sizzle of one-legged Rosie McGowan or Kurt Russell hamming it up on a highway to hell.

The real star of Grindhouse, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodrigues's blood-splattered ode to exploitation cinema, is to be found in the phony coming attraction "prevues".

There we meet Machete, the panga-wielding Mexican hombre who "gets the women" while he "gets the bad guys". There's a Twinsaver-flimsy plot about some or other double-cross, but really, who cares - especially when Machete flares open his trenchcoat, flasher-style, to reveal a library of sharpened edges. The chickens have well and truly come home to roost.

The developers of Wet, a videogame ode to grindhouse mayhem, would have hoped that the cackling in their coop produced a golden egg. The bird in question is Rubi, a feisty assassin with a penchant for Samurai swords. So far, so Kill Bill, complete with quirky soundtrack and that ominous siren when her anger gets the better of her, but Rubi is equally adept at the Bullet Ballet popularised by John Woo in films like Hard Boiled.

And so we find Rubi flying through the air in slow-mo, massacring an assembly of suited baddies with a twin-gun assault, before whipping out her sword for a more incisive critique on their evil ways.

The "wet" in the title refers to the bloodsoaked hands of a killer and Rubi is certainly in need of a towel after tearing through scores of minions in the headlong pursuit of her targets. But it's mayhem with panache - Rubi's acrobatics ante up the fantasy quality inherent in the chaos as she leaps between buildings and dispenses death, while sliding on her knees through a gauntlet of machine-gun fire.

The baddies on her hitlist are the sleazeballs grindhouse auteurs have always had a penchant for - cardboard cut-outs in terms of emotional depth and backstory, but imbued with a ritzy wardrobe that calls for snakeskin jackets, ponytails and white pants - all on the same person. There's no real story - just an extended series of episodes in which Rubi tracks down the bad guys and their helpers.

During the chase, Rubi will find herself in an arena where, with the doors locked, she has to kill everything that moves, racking up high-scoring combos along the way. In time, Rubi gains access to more acrobatics and better guns which, despite her numerical disadvantage, seems patently unfair judging by how this kick-ass babe handles herself.

But it isn't all silver-screen smooth. The targeting system is awkward and the framing of the action doesn't give you an accurate scope of what lies in store. Sometimes, the acrobatic elements are hit-and-miss.

Rubi's yen for slugs of hard liquor (they restore health) can also get on your nerves because of the corniness.

As would be expected of a hard-living gun-for-hire, Wet has a short shelf-life, with repetition already starting to grate well before the end.

Then, suddenly, 20 men-in-black types hop out of a van, swords and guns at the ready. And there goes Rubi, the silver gleam of her twin guns peeking menacingly from their holsters.

Cars explode, bullets fly in all directions, steel flashes as it cuts through the air.

There go those chickens again.